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I’ve been having a hard time realizing our plans are actually real, and that we’re moving across the world. I blame E-tickets, since there’s nothing in my hand to prove we’re leaving. Virtual reality is hard to hold onto.

The upside of not quite believing is that I haven’t been too emotional about anything yet. Then, today. Wednesdays are Farmer Market days downtown, and there’s a killer tamale stand there every week. For my last day at work I told myself I deserved a tamale so I tripped outside to order one from the long, snaking line. While waiting, I looked around at the Portland sunshine. The chill guys playing guitar on the grass. The puppies sniffing around. The cartons of blueberries and strawberries. The people.

And then, there in the tamale line, I started to tear up. I’m not kidding. All the stress I’ve been holding back the last week bubbled up and my face creased into that Oh-curses-I’m-going-to-cry-look, and I teared up. I had to take a lot of deep breaths and blink rapidly before I was okay again. Did people just think I was really excited for tamales? Who knows. When I got through the line I couldn’t even eat it all, so now I have half a tamale left that I cried over. Here it is, instagram version. (The other half tasted delicious, as always.)

Anyway, we have two days left in the country, which might explain my tamale-induced panic attack. Come Friday, we’re gone. Here’s our plan:

July 29-Aug 1: Vancouver, BC

August 2: Land in Ams, fly to Prague

August 2-6: Prague, Czech Republic

August 6-9: Olomouc, Czech Republic

August 10-18: Paris, France, and side trips

August 19: Pick up keys to our apartment in Amsterdam!

After that, who knows. If you’re in Portland and want tamales good enough to cry over, get yourself to the Park Block Farmers Market downtown on Wednesdays, between 10am and 2pm, and head to the Salvador Molly’s stand. But beware: it’s a long, emotional line.

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